Eventually, me and my girlfriend broke up and that's when I started losing it for real. I dropped out of high school, stayed at home all day and play on my computer until my eyes would start to feel like they couldn't stay open anymore. I stopped talking to my friends but whenever I saw them, I tried to be like I was before all of these things happened in my life. I didn't give a fuck about anything in life. It was almost to the point that if I died, I didn't care. Then it happened, I started working with james and we drinked heavily pretty much all the time we saw each other. I couldn't care about anything else in life other then trying to have fun which at the time, was drinking to me. One night, I went over to my friend's house and we went out with his girlfriend and another girl and we went over to sleep at the girl's house. I was drunk, had no job, I had started smoking and I didn't have any money and I didn't care how I got the money so I started stealing. I went downstairs in her mother's room, found 1000$ and took it. There was two paths I could've taken that night but for some reason, it felt like I had to take the money. I took it and the next few days I couldn't live with myself, I couldn't think properly, I couldn't sleep, I was living hell on earth. My parents saw that I wasn't the same and they kicked me out of my house. I started crying and I had 1000$ on me so I wanted to spend it all. I felt like a lost cause. I wanted to kill myself that night and I started walking to go to montreal and on the way to take the bus, a dog came up to me in the middle of the street and just looked at me, for some reason I felt it was for a reason and it gave me hope. I went down to montreal by taxi and I went to watch a movie by myself. Not once did I smile that night even when the funny had funny parts in them. I went to a bar after and drank. It was about 3 in the morning and I called a taxi and I went from montreal to varennes by taxi with money I had stolen. I came back that night and I told my parents I wanted to change, it was true but I knew I wasn't going to change.
The day after I wake up at 9 at night cause I still couldn't sleep and I hear my friend James saying my name. I felt happy at that moment, for me, it was the time to go drink but then I realized when I came upstairs that I got caught by his girlfriends parents. At that point in time, I had lost everything. The most important thing of all was that I lost the trust of the ones that I loved and the people that loved me. I knew I had to change somehow but I still thought it was over for me, I had a feeling I had fucked my life over and that there was nothing I could do. The rest of the summer was the worst days of my life, I didn't talk to my friends, I didn't work, I didn't talk to my family, and I would still drink heavily alone. I didn't feel loved by anyone in my life and that's a feeling I had never gotten in my life and trust me, it's the worst feeling in the world. My summer went by fast and school started, first day of school, I went to bed at 3 in the morning just cause I didn't really care.
First week passes by and the second week, I miss two days of school and I'm only allowed 3 days missed of school per class. That night, my parents came home and they told me to give them my bus pass and to get out of the house. I wanted to change my life completely. I wanted to go anywhere that night and just get out of the life I was in. On my way to ste-julie, a guy picked me up and it was weird cause I was walking on the different side of the street I wouldn't normally walk on and a guy came and picked me up. The guy was 20, and his name was Dave. The moment he saw me, he told me what happened that night and I didn't hesitate to tell him about my parents kicking me out of my house. He told me that it had happened to him too and that he had done the same thing as me and went 2 weeks to Alberta. He told me it was the best experience of his life, he had no troubles in his life and had no worries, no stress at all. He told me that he realized that what he had here with his family was such a beautiful part of his life but he had to apply himself by actually caring to make it like it used to be. He looked at me in the eyes and told me "look at me in the eyes and talk to me like I was your best friend and I've known you for years, if you had 2 minutes left in your life, who would you call to tell them that you love them," it clicked, I didn't hesitate to say my parents.
I started thinking and he told me that he didn't want me to take the same path as him and actually go. I told him I had to do it, I just had to do it to change my life. So I get out of his car and he tells me "le gros, jte respect tellement pour faire sa." So I started walking for 3 hours straight without stopping and I was just thinking about life and how fun it used to be and how I had forgotten to live. I called my dad and I told him I was tired of acting like I had been acting and asked him to come pick me up and told him I had to have a talk with him. We talked like we used to that night. I told him thank you for kicking me out dad, it really changed my life completely. He told me "I had a friend like you before Dave, he use to drink behind his parents back all the time, do you know where he lives?" we switched conversation for some reason right after the question but 5 minutes later I asked him where his frien lived now and he told me "he's burried dave, he died at 22." It was one of the biggest shocks of my life. I had to change and I knew that night that I was going to change, I was going to be happy again. My father cried that night because he too, knew that I was finally going to change and all the work he had been doing all my life was rewarded with simple words I said to him that he knew I meant. I can now live again, and I don't drink on the weekend as I used to and I didn't even drink on my 18th birthday which is the day I always wanted to drink all my life because it wasn't a legal thing to do at the time. I feel good about myself now, I started talking to my friends and even my family are starting to talk to me like I used to.
Today, I talked to one of my best friend James that I hadn't talked to like a real friend for a long time because I had betrayed him and his trust and I noticed that he was going through the same thing as me. I told him about my experience and how much everyone had noticed that he was beginning to be stressed and depressed and I changed his pinion on how life can be a beautiful thing when you put your heart and soul into it. I haven't got drunk since then and I don't envy getting drunk. Next times I drink, it's not going to be to get away from my problems, it's going to be for a good time with my friends. I'm not going to drink behind my parent's back and I'm going to win their trust back in every way possible that I can. I wake up every morning now and I feel good about myself and I actually want to go to school to learn to make my life the best of my capabilities.
If anyone reads this and is having a hard time in life, please, go take a walk and think about your life for a few hours. Think about how beautiful it can be. Go talk to your parents about your problems and you'll see that they'll be happy to help you out with anything that you need. Talk to your a friend that really cares about you and tell him that you're going to change and if he can in any way possible, to help you out. Instead of drinking away your problems, you're going to want to fix them the right way. Set yourself some goals and think of a way you can achieve it and put your heart into it and your soul and you'll see that anything is possible. My next goal is to stop smoking completely. I know that I can do it and I told my friends it was my last cigarette tonight and I won't let them down. When you live hell on earth and you find a way to come back, everything in life is going to be heaven on earth.
TheTruth
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